Crying in front of my daughter's entire school

It's official - I'm turning into a cry baby. I guess it was about time. I've barely cried since my diagnosis on February 20 - the entire week leading up to it, I cried nonstop through every test. Since then, I've been too tired or busy to cry or trying to be strong for someone else. Crying takes so much out of you. Oh, I've had some private pity parties - but not major public crying ... until yesterday.

My daughter's 2nd grade teacher, Kelly Huetteman, received the Yvonne Banks Caring Teacher Award yesterday. The entire student body (k-8) and faculty at Lake Forest Country Day School was gathered for the assembly. I already knew she was going to win it because my nomination cinched it for her. Other parents submitted nominations for her regarding Kelly's remarkable ability to connect with their child, but I felt compelled to write about what a difference she has made for my daughter, especially in recent months. So, I knew what was coming when the award was announced, but I couldn't stop what was coming out of me - big, fat tears!

Here is a portion of my nomination letter for Kelly Huetteman:

"Since the beginning of the school year, Kelly always made sure that all her students could come talk with her privately about anything. Kelly has especially made sure that Georgia knows that she can always talk with her about her fears and worries about my health. When I was diagnosed and didn't know how to tell Georgia, Kelly researched age-appropriate books suitable for her and even purchased them for us. Those books were extremely helpful when I couldn't come up with the words and was too emotional to tell my daughter that I had breast cancer and would have a mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation. Georgia and I cuddled many days and nights and read these books over and over. "

"Kelly is already anticipating the challenges Georgia may face when I lose my hair from chemo, which coincides with the end of the school year. I know that I'm really anxious about that part of my treatment because then there is now denying to anyone that I have cancer. To help Georgia and remind her that she can always talk with her, Kelly is planning to take her one weekend to spend a special day together doing anything she wants."

"Dealing with all the emotions of cancer is extremely difficult, but having to care for your young child who is smart enough to ask the tough questions and want every detail makes it even harder. We could not make this cancer journey without Kelly. I consider her as much a part of my team of caregivers as I do my oncologists, surgeons, internist and other medical support staff. Kelly deserves to receive this award because she cares about not only the student's academic performance, but her whole being."

P.J. and I are eternally grateful to Kelly and all of Georgia's teachers (and school nurse) for helping her through this challenging time.

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Today is the day of our big haircuts. Will share my thoughts on that later. I'm off to take a nap now. I tossed and turned all night with dreams/nightmares of losing my hair. My cold is still lingering and the Benadryl is making me drowsy and my eyes are still swollen and puffy from yesterday. Maybe a rest will help me keep the tears in during my public haircut at the salon this afternoon.

xxoo
Jana